What We Say

By David Emer

I have heard people say many times, “You look like a retard.” This is a terrible phrase that people sometimes use which can be offensive to other people. We may think that these words really don’t offend anyone, even the person to whom they are directed. This is definitely not the case. For example, if these words are directed to someone who really is developmentally delayed, there is no question that he or she will be offended. It is also likely that many other people will be offended because they might know someone who is developmentally delayed.

When someone says, “You are a retard,” he or she most likely doesn’t mean that he or she thinks the person at whom the comment was directed scored in the lower percentages of an I.Q. test, which is the real meaning of that word. This makes it seem like using the term is perfectly fine. It isn’t okay though, because it is turning the word “retard” into a bad word. It also makes it seem like being developmentally delayed is an awful thing. It stereotypes people who are develop­mentally delayed, including how they dress and how they look.

People would make sure something was done if someone said an anti-Semitic comment or a racist slur in school. Yet, there are many negative comments made every single day in school using the word “retard,” but we aren’t even taught in school how bad it is. This is definitely wrong and should be corrected.

There are many strategies you can use to stop people from using this awful term. The first thing you absolutely have to do is stop using the term yourself. If you hear people using the term, tell them that they shouldn’t joke about things like that. It isn’t easy to tell this to someone whom you don’t know that well, so try to tell your friends first. Remember that doing anything at all is better than letting this terrible practice continue.